Nice to be back here... I just love the way this blog wraps part of my life.. Keep it going...

Happy New Year!

You Make it Real for me by James Morrison


Mmmmm
There's so much craziness, surrounding me
There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
You make it real for me
When I'm not sure of, my priorities

When I've lost site of, where I'm meant to be
Like holy water, washing over me
You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong, but my heart is weak
I'm full of arrogance, and uncertainty
But I can find the words, you teach my heart to speak
You make it real for meee, yeaaa

And I'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who saved me
That's whyyy I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me
Ohhh

Everybodies talking in words I don't understand
You got to be the only one
Who knows just who I am
Your shinin in the distance
I hope I can make it through
Cause the only place That I want to be
Is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more
I have to learn
But if you're here with me
I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere,
Somewhere I can learn
You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

You make it real for me

its been quite a while.

To start your day with failure is something you will never wish to happen to your existence, for you carry the whole of it all through out the day. i am having one now-trying to stop the things i never wished will happen to me but yes it is occuring.

Having missed an appointment, getting some early morning sermons, and battling personal issues oh my, these are just few of those many that i am supressing and fighting right now. I am looking at the greater possibility that through this writing, some part of me will be okay. a portion of that unhealed big wound will be okay, or hoping for numbness to prevail all through my life.

Life comes with many mysteries,many colors and surely, many ups and downs. i always wanted to be happy and i believe that everybody wants to be one. But what is happinness now? am i happy? where am i when it comes to happinness, with my life, career, emotions, etc.

I too cannot answer these questions. mind buggling as they are, i am caught in so many crossroads. i know that these answers are just in these roads where i am now. Just needed to stop and yes, pause and look at it in a more critical rather in an emotional way. But how? i do not know.

I am writing in this room, in the metropolitan city if Manila while listening to songs that in a way gives a soothing effect to what i am feeling right now. this is just so TRAGIC.

I will just keep on sailing and trying to be okay. this is one of the lowest and saddest moments in my life. and again hoping that happinness will envelope its meaning on me. It is something we want to have, and it is subjective but still many factors thrive to these concepts of achieving happinness. Gone are the days when you worry much only your exams and the allowance you get from your parents. but now, its an entirely different picture. You earn your keep, and you need to freaking work your ass off just to be okay. but it pains me to know that at the end of the day, you go back to your room and ask yourself, why do you do this and that? it is again asking yourself for you do not have someone or anyone to share the loads you have at your back. a friend's pat is good, but an embrace of someone you share your life with is a lot better. that is just a perspective of someone who comes in these roads of two worlds. but still friends are worth giving all you have. but that is another issue. for friends come and go. it is again you and yourself.

I am just calling for a peaceful me and myself and surely and hopefully i will be one:) love you myself...

Alone

Alone in the night so cold
so silent it creates noise
so peaceful yet it troubles
so bring me back to you and life will be true.
i am damn crazy in love with you

Alone... wishing you beside me
Miss the laughter and tears together
so charming... so sweet
my darling... my babe
Dreaming of you is all i can do.

I don't wanna be alone
I don't wanna be sad and lonely
I don't wanna be far away and count each day
I don't wanna be cry for this is not good bye
and i count each day till we will be in our arms again

Alone... missing you entirely
reminiscing.. but always believing
that we will fly high in this blue vast sky
and that we will never be apart
will never be apart


Alone in the night
As the moon provides company
I am waiting... Hoping you will be with me soon:)


--- to someone i left my heart last year")

Angels cry:) love this:)

Eh.. I shouldn't have walked away
I would have stayed, if you’d said
We could've made everything okay,
but we just
threw the blame back and forth.
We treated love like a sport.
The final blow hit so low I'm still on the ground.
I couldn't prepare myself for this fall.
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor.
Supernatural, love conquers all.
Remember we used to touch the sky?

(Chorus)
And lightning don't strike
the same place twice.
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry.
True love’s a gift.
But we let it drift
in a storm.
Every night,
I feel the angels cry.

Come on babe, can our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gon' make it right.
I'm on the edge just trying to survive,
as the angels cry.

Limitless omnipresent kind of love.
Couldn’t have guessed. It would just stop
and disappear, in a whirlwind
here I am
walking on this narrow rope.
Wobbling but won't let go.
Waiting for a glimpse of the suns glow.

I know I can stand just pull me back up.
There ain’t a hurricane it’s just us.
I'm willing to live and die for our love.
Baby we can get back that shine.

(Repeat Chorus)

baby im missin you
Don't allow our love to lose
We gotta ride it through
i'm reachin for you

(Chorus version 2)
lightning don't strike
the same place twice.
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry.
True love’s a gift
But we let it slip
in the storm.
Every night,
I feel the angels cry.

Dating and maroons....

wow... its been a long time, and i mean the longest time since i did something with my page, my blog- as they say, an update about oneself. at this point in time, i really do not have anything in my mind as to what i will be writing here, but i just read a blog of a person i just added in my FB account and the topic was all about dating, and this led me to put some glitters in this century old page.

dating, courtships, or getting to know you stage--- as a kid, i thought of it as a romantic sweet moment between a male and female in a park, or beach side for that matter. or the moment where my mom and dad visits our ancestral home back in the hillside of Basilan territories. totally very charming and indeed full of love.

growing up, i had that desire of experiencing this so called sweet hi and hello. it came to me many times and truly i can justify to that thought that indeed, it is romantic, it is sweet and it feels great! that thought i had when i was a child widened and gave me a clearer picture of love, lust,joy and pain, maybe because of the maturity that i must have in my nerves. and also maybe because i happen to experience that not so common and accepted date in this part of the world.

but i went on, meeting date 1, to date 2, 3, and counting. some were memorable, some were disgusting yet still meaningful and some were perfectly awesome. eating along the boulevard,meeting the sun rise, sending letters and gifts, texting till the wee hours of the night, eating anything under the warm sun and pale blue majestic moon, sleeping and hugging so tight together (and now it makes me cry remembering those moments) i mean something you wished will comeback or if you are wishing during that very moment, it was a date that you hope will never end.but again and again as i say, life is a forward march, those moments are now images in my mind. images i continuously treasure.. for these images were mine. were me!!!

now, i want to go back to that simplicity of my thoughts about dating. the definition i had when i was a child. simple yet tangible for i am experiencing it not with anyone now, but a date with and for myself. myself, for i need to pick up all the pieces i had lost for the past years i tried to redefine the concept of dating according to what others see and what others want, not according to what i really feel i wanted to see and feel. i am not saying i did not want it, but i just went with the flow for i am there, simply enjoying that very feeling.weird as it may be, i am just me, a fanatic of that true real love. once i feel it, i go with it,. but now i guess i need to feel it, then feel it again and again until i will conclude that i don't have that feeling anymore for i am already in the state of LOVE. i almost was in that state, almost...it was already in my hand, yet things came and surprise me and is still leaving me with mixed emotions, the least thing i would want to do is again, ask if that was just a feeling or was i blinded with that state...

.....everyday, i receive invitations for me to be part of their individual definition of love , i smiled at them.smiling with a thought, that maybe they too have the intentions in defining or redefining the words dating and love. sometimes i pause and try to give them my piece but i continue on my self date.tempting as it may be, i am never and still not in the position to have that date for i know i am still in debt to myself above all. and i can still see that very thin flame in the dark where i left my heart, glowing like the mighty phoenix, not today but maybe tomorrow.

and i will stay with my definition and indeed stay:)

i miss writing here... i will soon...

mwahugs!!!