its been so long, since i last posted a simple reflection of my chaotic, but still i may say a life of purpose and goal....

this is just an outburst for i just experienced a totally destructive and self realization event in my life. trying to ask, whats wrong? why me? is there no end with all these things happening to me? or its just that i am not blessed with this thing we called love....???

but certainly i am ok... its just, i cant find the real reason of whatever happened.

maybe i am too much... i ignored that person, i just took that person for granted, thinking that that person loved me so much. trying not to show my real feelings toward that person... so i just let things happened...

buts when the time comes, of you feeling that you are starting to loose, someone, then there you realize that that person is important, that that person is already part of your existence, that you will cry the moment the person will say goodbye....

what are the good things in a goodbye? i don not know....

please let me know...

i cried,the whole nyt yesterday, till this afternoon, skipped my breakfast, as i normally do, but to the extend of dinner and lunch... trying to evaluate where and when i committed somethings that are not pleasing in the eyes of that person... for that person to say ok... off muna tayo.....

this is so tragic... but still i will try to be ok.... i will try to pretend everything is ok... pretentions... full of fakeness and lies... cant live in that position, as i continue to making my dreams fly and soar high....

hope i will be ok...

God help me...

i can still remember parang kahapon lang, that i was really happy, that i have someone... now i am completely loosing that someone... without a concrete reason...

hope as i move on... i could get these reasons clear...

love you my friends...

for with out my friends i will die...

Lyde thanks for the sweet understanding... indeed we end up messed up and trashed down, same topic and same seasons or months...

genrey.... hope we can share mre and God forbid my instincts will be true....


Franciz.... your such a beautiful creature god sent to me... i will be ok... and i dont know if you will be able to read this but one thing for sure i am so happy and touched with your sincerity and with your concern....love you ghurl...