Dating and maroons....

wow... its been a long time, and i mean the longest time since i did something with my page, my blog- as they say, an update about oneself. at this point in time, i really do not have anything in my mind as to what i will be writing here, but i just read a blog of a person i just added in my FB account and the topic was all about dating, and this led me to put some glitters in this century old page.

dating, courtships, or getting to know you stage--- as a kid, i thought of it as a romantic sweet moment between a male and female in a park, or beach side for that matter. or the moment where my mom and dad visits our ancestral home back in the hillside of Basilan territories. totally very charming and indeed full of love.

growing up, i had that desire of experiencing this so called sweet hi and hello. it came to me many times and truly i can justify to that thought that indeed, it is romantic, it is sweet and it feels great! that thought i had when i was a child widened and gave me a clearer picture of love, lust,joy and pain, maybe because of the maturity that i must have in my nerves. and also maybe because i happen to experience that not so common and accepted date in this part of the world.

but i went on, meeting date 1, to date 2, 3, and counting. some were memorable, some were disgusting yet still meaningful and some were perfectly awesome. eating along the boulevard,meeting the sun rise, sending letters and gifts, texting till the wee hours of the night, eating anything under the warm sun and pale blue majestic moon, sleeping and hugging so tight together (and now it makes me cry remembering those moments) i mean something you wished will comeback or if you are wishing during that very moment, it was a date that you hope will never end.but again and again as i say, life is a forward march, those moments are now images in my mind. images i continuously treasure.. for these images were mine. were me!!!

now, i want to go back to that simplicity of my thoughts about dating. the definition i had when i was a child. simple yet tangible for i am experiencing it not with anyone now, but a date with and for myself. myself, for i need to pick up all the pieces i had lost for the past years i tried to redefine the concept of dating according to what others see and what others want, not according to what i really feel i wanted to see and feel. i am not saying i did not want it, but i just went with the flow for i am there, simply enjoying that very feeling.weird as it may be, i am just me, a fanatic of that true real love. once i feel it, i go with it,. but now i guess i need to feel it, then feel it again and again until i will conclude that i don't have that feeling anymore for i am already in the state of LOVE. i almost was in that state, almost...it was already in my hand, yet things came and surprise me and is still leaving me with mixed emotions, the least thing i would want to do is again, ask if that was just a feeling or was i blinded with that state...

.....everyday, i receive invitations for me to be part of their individual definition of love , i smiled at them.smiling with a thought, that maybe they too have the intentions in defining or redefining the words dating and love. sometimes i pause and try to give them my piece but i continue on my self date.tempting as it may be, i am never and still not in the position to have that date for i know i am still in debt to myself above all. and i can still see that very thin flame in the dark where i left my heart, glowing like the mighty phoenix, not today but maybe tomorrow.

and i will stay with my definition and indeed stay:)

i miss writing here... i will soon...

mwahugs!!!

i will be fine soon..
i will spread those wings again...
i will see a new beginning...
i will and surely will worship Him...

and i am fine!
--- thank you friends....

i am just freaking confused as to what i will do with my crown--- and that is my hair---...some are very happy seeing me with this new hairstyle. yes, easy to manage and not that much expensive, i mean no clay nor paste or whatsoever. but others and i mean close friends are asking me to grow it for i lost my identity as a person and as an artist!!!

these pictures are the newest, in revealing my self. heheh.... before leaving the Christmas season behind. me with Jay Aldecoa- a SSEAYP alumnus and Junjun Villamero- TOSP 2008, went to the famous Absin's Christmas House. this majestic house best exemplifies Christmas and indeed it gave me the feeling of being a child. Love the intricate and the well chosen masterpieces- from the color down to the antique collections... i mean this house is a must to see edifice in this city of dumaguete...

surely, i will look for a time to again have a glimpse to this great house. and hopefully i will be able to do that with my family! God bless and see you next Christmas...

An article i submitted to the ayala foundation for the 75 new young leaders

My Life Changing Moment

Excitement enveloped my whole being when I received the news that I made it to the final cut of the AYLC 2006. I could not possibly imagine that I made it and I thanked God for the rare opportunity and a blessing to be part of the Ayala Young Leaders Community. Having the chance to work and to meet former student leaders from Silliman University and be a witness as to how the Ayala Young Leaders Congress changed their lives and heed the call for servant leadership. I became so excited to know what made this congress unique and special. Truly, this excitement lingers in me even until today as a teacher and an artist for indeed AYLC is one life changing event that I will forever be grateful of.

The three-day congress is a fully jam packed capsule that really helped me realize things I am capable of and the things I needed to develop and to change as I submit my self to the call of leadership. It was a gathering of different souls yet surprisingly made a great collaboration and indeed a perfect combination. It was as if everybody knew each other for a long time. We shared the same brands of experiences at school and in our respective niche of service; and eventually led us all to the establishment of friendship that we treasure even until today. My Alab 2006 family and my AYLC experience (how I miss them so much!) – the laughter, the tears, the overnight kiligan stories about the cute facilitator and a co-participant, the overflowing ice cream and desserts, the sumptuous food, the freebies, the tour, the extra challenge, the chance in meeting the Ayalas and other prominent personalities in our country, and a lot more – these are just few yet great chances I got to see with in the congress. But what is so important and dear to my heart are the productive things that happened to me and the meaningful changes I did when I got back to Silliman University and to my hometown, Basilan province. It was that point in time were I realized that I needed to do something not just for me to get a standing ovation after a great performance or an award after spearheading an organization or an activity but because I needed to do it for there was the need in doing it.

There was this craving for service. Service without expecting anything in return. Service because you feel good when others are happy, and service because you want to contribute in making this world a better place for everybody even in the simplest way you could, and lastly a realization that with out service, I could not fully appreciate my existence.

Ayala Young Leaders Congress provided us with strong armaments through the different activities with well respected speakers, who are into servant leadership and into the concept of building a better nation. Those speakers handed to us powerful insights which served as an eye opener to what reality holds for the leaders of tomorrow, indeed an awakening moment that there is still hope for this great nation. They gave us a script as to what servant leadership and the responsibility is with in our hands as to how and why it was very fulfilling and necessary for us to put this script into reality.

Ayala Young Leaders Congress opened many doors to me as I realize the many beautiful things that will happen when you share a part of you to others. The beauty of life is actually based on the things you scatter rather than the things you gather as you go on through the complexities of life. And as an Ayala Young Leader I will always have that thinking of becoming a person to others – Yes, this is a statement with a heavy weight when it comes to commitment but then again and again, I for one is a witness to this. I cannot fully appreciate the wonders of life without sharing my gifts, my talents, and my being to others for I believe that is also my way in thanking and glorifying my Creator who shared His life to save the face of the world. Truly it is a celebration having this passion to serve.

Few weeks from now we will embark to the conception of 75 new breed of servant leaders. Surely, this event will be a strong foundation to the new servant leaders as to what they are called for in this world. The 11^th Ayala Young Leaders Congress- one decade and the journey goes on in igniting the flames for change and service. The congress will be a blessing to these new individuals as it was to me and to the entire Ayala Young Leaders Alumni Community.

Welcome year of the Ox...

Cow people should have a nice Rat year in 2008. Many things end up with their expectation. However, it won't be the same in the year of Cow. Many Unlucky Stars are coming to Cow people and there is no strong Lucky Stars coming to help them. Therefore, the fortune of 2009 is unstable and unpredictable. Troubles and obstacles will appear soon or later and wait for the challenge. Cow people need to pay attention on everything during the entire year of the Cow.

According to Chinese Zodiac, if the zodiac sign of birth year is same to the zodiac sign of yearly cycle, then that's an unlucky year to the person. Many troubles will come to bother the person. The person needs to manage events with caution at work, at home or traveling to avoid argument, lawsuit, accident, libel, blooding and money loss.

Career:

The Unlucky Year Star and Fighting Stars move to your career area in year 2009. People relationship in your business or job circle will be poor. Business development has the difficulty to expand. You will face strong competition with coworkers in the company. Unfortunately, you are the underdog in the competition. You might keep losing your spirit, cannot focus on your task and then impact your job performance. The good news is that a Knowledge Star appears this year. If your job is related to art, writing, publishing, entertainment, creativity, acting or speech, then you have the chance to show your talent to people and open the door for your better job opportunity.

Money:

Cow people's money luck is connected with the career luck in 2009. Since your career performance won't get any good anticipation, therefore to increase a good income becomes remote possible. Plus, an Unlucky Broken Star shows in the money area. That means it's hard for you to pile up wealth into your savings. In short, money comes, then money goes this year. Therefore, you shouldn't do any short term risky investment. Anything related to money, you need to think twice before you leap. If you don't have any financial plan, then it's hard for you to balance your expense and income.

Love:

Because the Knowledge Star comes into your life, it implies the wisdom, talent and
loneliness. If you are married, then you might have more argument with your spouse or children. If you are in love, then you will have less times to meet your lover and the love relationship becomes distant. If you are a senior, then you have to pay attention on the health of your spouse to avoid visiting hospital. If you are single, it's not a good time to pursuit the impossible dream.

Health:

The Unlucky Year Star comes strongly to you in 2009. Many things will disturb Cow people. Worry and anxiety will bring you lots of mental and physical pressure. Therefore, you need
fully pay attention on your health. You have to stay alert for any changes of
your body. Because you might lose your focus, you need to pay attention on the
safety while your are walking and driving on the street to avoid the traffic
accident.

Fortune:

Cow people always have unsatisfied events in every Cow year. The fortune in career, wealth. health, love and family will below expectation in 2009. But you don't have to despair or give up. In your career, you just have to hold on your job position, keep your profile low, work harder for your daily job. You need to follow your financial plan and do not waste unnecessary expense. You need to remember to show the care and love to your family members, spouse or lover. You also have to watch your own health. In this case, you will have a peaceful the year of the Cow.

--- amdist all these it is the great conncetion we have to Our Lord Jesus Christ! Save me oh lord....