Dating and maroons....

wow... its been a long time, and i mean the longest time since i did something with my page, my blog- as they say, an update about oneself. at this point in time, i really do not have anything in my mind as to what i will be writing here, but i just read a blog of a person i just added in my FB account and the topic was all about dating, and this led me to put some glitters in this century old page.

dating, courtships, or getting to know you stage--- as a kid, i thought of it as a romantic sweet moment between a male and female in a park, or beach side for that matter. or the moment where my mom and dad visits our ancestral home back in the hillside of Basilan territories. totally very charming and indeed full of love.

growing up, i had that desire of experiencing this so called sweet hi and hello. it came to me many times and truly i can justify to that thought that indeed, it is romantic, it is sweet and it feels great! that thought i had when i was a child widened and gave me a clearer picture of love, lust,joy and pain, maybe because of the maturity that i must have in my nerves. and also maybe because i happen to experience that not so common and accepted date in this part of the world.

but i went on, meeting date 1, to date 2, 3, and counting. some were memorable, some were disgusting yet still meaningful and some were perfectly awesome. eating along the boulevard,meeting the sun rise, sending letters and gifts, texting till the wee hours of the night, eating anything under the warm sun and pale blue majestic moon, sleeping and hugging so tight together (and now it makes me cry remembering those moments) i mean something you wished will comeback or if you are wishing during that very moment, it was a date that you hope will never end.but again and again as i say, life is a forward march, those moments are now images in my mind. images i continuously treasure.. for these images were mine. were me!!!

now, i want to go back to that simplicity of my thoughts about dating. the definition i had when i was a child. simple yet tangible for i am experiencing it not with anyone now, but a date with and for myself. myself, for i need to pick up all the pieces i had lost for the past years i tried to redefine the concept of dating according to what others see and what others want, not according to what i really feel i wanted to see and feel. i am not saying i did not want it, but i just went with the flow for i am there, simply enjoying that very feeling.weird as it may be, i am just me, a fanatic of that true real love. once i feel it, i go with it,. but now i guess i need to feel it, then feel it again and again until i will conclude that i don't have that feeling anymore for i am already in the state of LOVE. i almost was in that state, almost...it was already in my hand, yet things came and surprise me and is still leaving me with mixed emotions, the least thing i would want to do is again, ask if that was just a feeling or was i blinded with that state...

.....everyday, i receive invitations for me to be part of their individual definition of love , i smiled at them.smiling with a thought, that maybe they too have the intentions in defining or redefining the words dating and love. sometimes i pause and try to give them my piece but i continue on my self date.tempting as it may be, i am never and still not in the position to have that date for i know i am still in debt to myself above all. and i can still see that very thin flame in the dark where i left my heart, glowing like the mighty phoenix, not today but maybe tomorrow.

and i will stay with my definition and indeed stay:)