i really do not know what and where this post will lead me but one thing for sure this post is eventually making me ok and getting rid of the clinical depression i know is coming soon, or i may say it is already there....

it was so fast! it came and eventually it's going to end!???????

that i don't know. super hard! when you are caught up in things with many options. the fears, the tears, the sadness... one thing i definitely ask my self everyday things come my mind is---- WHY ME??????

and i just hope that march will be here so soon as for me to know where i will be after these incidents... but one thing i am sure of totally, i will treasure this. and if God will give me another moment to live i will still prefer having you again (after all the things we had way before this stupid beating came), but correct the things that happened. i am not saying that the things happened and happening are wrong. but a friend, my best friend- marriane told me, that things are not yet ok if it ends in a bad way. so certainly there is still a brighter rainbow after! my pride who is my super bestiest friend is telling me that "sana wala na lang ni nahitabo"...

cry? im done with that
it haunts me--- i run
i run---no where,
and that gun is just the sole reason to end this fun
help me
slap me
or eventually kill me...

i don't want to entertain this
i don't
but it comes
it runs into my nerves

will i entertain others
and that will be an additional burden
hope not!

o.a ang die, but kung di ra jud sala ay wa na gugmang giatay!

LECHE!

wee.... this is one stressful week for me, for im starting to go back to my routine... school, gym,sleep.... hahay!



things i will be doing for the nest few days...

by importance and urgency



1. i will probably talk to someone and according to his blog it took a year... nyahahaha... oa man gud sya... bitaw.. but defintely happy that person is back, the reason why i was not able to attend my 8-9 class this morning. heheheh.



2.be doing the world bank thing with naddie, for there is this demanding blablabla...



3. just met with ate lea for the tourism project and so as we will be doing this over dumaguete's fiesta... we will be spending our days in amlan and tanjay.hopefully it will be great! i know it will..



4. me and naddie are going to surigao this friday via cebu, for we were invited to help promote Silliman University to high school students in Surigao... it will be one hell of a trip knowing how clumsy my partner is... nyahahaha.



5. neeed to come up with my syllabus and my lesson preparations for my class... hopefully the nerve of teaching will soon come and run into my bloodstreams again!asap... hahay! so wasting a lot of time... but still its fine im pampering my ass too much! wake up!



6. will i enroll or not!? if i wont, i won't be able to play volleyball during the intrams , and it is a dream talaga honest! and also could not send my songs for the VSC next year... i also don't want to enroll for it will just be an additional INC in my belt...



7. and i already mentioned my INC, definetely i need to complete it with in the semester for me not to have a dirt in my transcript of records... nan! kay nganu ni enter...



8. need to save money for the xmas holidays...many people are asking for gifts and i already gave them myself and for some even my body!(gong, i know mucomment ka ani)lol!!!!!



9. need to prepare some good food and dishes for christmas...and i will experiment and play with the kitchen just to make mama smile...



10. need to maintain the happinness i have right now... and hopefully go on with my sanity and those are, checking my mails, friendster, updating blogs, texting 24/7 and eating less, working out more... need to have my ideal waistline... jung kamatay aning diet diet..



also need to go to cebu asap... need to fix things with the tosp preparations and need to inhale the TOSPIAN air,.... also meet my brother and the bums... VERNA and mich! super thanks ha...



love you all... those who visit and those who don't... ok thanks...