LET's END THIS...

these were the words of departure i got from somebody special. Special person but never saw that importance and just looked on my struggles to the MT. Everest like expectations that that person set from the very start of the journey...

I just said yes... ok...

and that person waited for me to say no, and surprisingly i did not cry... why should i... i did not see the point of saying good bye.. i thought it went well, i thought everybody's happy, i thought everybody's contented... but i was completely wrong... i guess i Failed but still i am not a loser...

one thing i know, i was true and i was sure of what i felt and what i knew from the very start i texted, exchanged thoughts, information, pleasure, tears, oils, and sweat, of even sacrificing things just to see, and be a good partner... but i was not...

Bottom line--- i learned a lot....
im just so thankful i met you my siomai...you showed me the respect of what Love can do and can be.. you showed me the other and the same me when i fall in love, and you helped me and supported me from all my flaws that i did not get from my past, that still haunts my darkness and with that, all praises and thanks... still i did not entertain the feeling of bidding bye bye, to the extend of neglecting these circumstances but it comes, it attacked my conscience' and left unprepared... i know i will be able to smile again...

That is for sure... for life is like that, as i am in my quest of finding the real essence of who i really am, let me enjoy the beauty of sharing and loving the world.. as what i said to ate lea... which is very hard to inject into my self but i will try...and i quote, " do not worry of not having that one person that you love for many are blessed with your presence and many people are happy for they see your greatness..."

I will try to let those words run into my life as classes this June starts, let me thank God for the chance of having this nation building concept and for touching millions of lives...

and i will leave you with this poem...

candle
12:24 AM, May 31, 2008


only the streams of the candle
can witness my solitude
the darkness that hides the rain
masking my vast being

will they catch me
will they care

that i don not know

as the candle
drowns herself
i too,
succumb myself into
nightmare and despair

go on.......